What are you going to do?
A question I seem to be hearing a lot lately. From both sides of the fence. Stay at home mum? Working mum/kids in daycare? A mix of both? Work from home? Baby #2 is only 10 weeks old, Christmas is in four weeks and I am trying desperately not to think about what I am going to do. I know that come Boxing Day I will have no choice but to start thinking about the future again, but for now, I’m really enjoying living each day as it happens and spending time with my children.
Unfortunately, the more I hear this question, the more it pops to the forefront of my mind. And I’m not just talking about whether I stay home or go back to work. I turned 28 yesterday and it’s making me think about my long-term future. What do I want to be doing by the time I turn 30? What do I need to do over the next 2 years to get there? Am I happy with where I’m heading? Am I happy with what I’m doing now? What changes do I want to make?
I bought a journal and decided to write down my goals for the next two years. Everything big and small, from reading more books, walking the dog more often, to removing takeaway food from my life and learning meditation. I’ve always had goals, and I’ve always been goal driven, so I’m really hoping that by writing them down, and giving myself a nice long timeframe to achieve them, it will happen. Actually – one of my goals is to start practicing daily affirmations, so what I mean is I will achieve my goals.
I wonder if this is what it’s like to have a midlife crisis. Wanting to work out where my life is heading, re-assessing my values and the important aspects of my life. Okay so it’s not really a crisis. More a journey of self-discovery and personal development. I’m ready to make some changes, and to grow. I know I need to narrow my focus on the direction I want to be heading, and really identify the steps and pathway ahead of me.
Before having kids, I was extremely career-focused. I was dedicated to my job, working hours over my normal week because I loved what I did, and I enjoyed it. I feel like being career-focused is ingrained in me, I have big goals that are career related. But now I have children and my values have changed. I’m still dedicated to my job, but I value every hour I am able to spend with my children as well, so you don’t find me working at all hours of every night anymore. I really hate the idea of anyone thinking I’m not as committed to my job as I once was. So perhaps I need to unpack the “why” this bothers me. And work out what I can do be at peace with my decision on work and family priorities. That’s a work in progress.
Feel free to leave a comment! I’d love to hear your experiences, any tips you have for finding the right path, or even ideas for learning meditation. Thanks for reading today.